He Smiled
by Iliveinnerdfighteria
Summary: After Arthur's death, Merlin can't find anything to live for. He goes throughout his days in a daze. That is until he meets a mysterious stranger on a bus in London who says he can help.


Merlin couldn't let him go. After thousands of years of wandering the plant alone, he still ached with pain at the loss of Arthur. He had been more than his friend, he had been his brother, his protector, his confidant. He would have stuck with him through years of battles and bloodshed. But, in the end, the sword found its mark. And he was left to live out his life in regret and loneliness.

He let himself go, wandering without a purpose, distancing himself from all other living creatures. He knew he should let him go, but the pain was a part of him now, something he no longer had the power to change.

"Ticket, please," the man behind the counter woke Merlin temporarily from his permanently dazed state. He shoved his hand into his pocket and produced a bent bus ticket. He pushed it under the window to the attendant who quickly examined it before buzzing him through.

"Have a nice tour, sir." He smiled.

Merlin mumbled out a muffled thanks and strode through the gate and onto the bus. He chose a seat at the back, next to the window, as far away from the other passengers as possible. He didn't seem to notice the man who took the seat across the aisle from him. Instead, he gazed out the window, already fallen back into the glazed state of being that he had come to refer to as living.

"You excited for the tour, mate?" A voice next to him jolted him back to full consciousness. He turned and inspected the man for the first time. He wore a blue suit with a red t-shirt underneath, finished up by blue converse tennis shoes. His hair stood in a messy peak above his forehead, as if he spent a lot of time running his fingers through it. He was incredibly thin and lanky, but in a nice way. His almond eyes glittered brightly with glee and adventure from behind a pair of rectangular glasses perched upon his nose. His face was alight with a goofy grin as he waited expectantly for Merlin's answer.

"I suppose." Merlin finally replied quietly, more out of politeness than anything. He hadn't been excited about anything in hundreds of years.

The man, however, did not seem to notice the insincerity of the comment, or if he did, paid no mind to it.

"I'm ecstatic," he gushed, "Visited London hundreds of times; never taken the time to go on a proper tour." Merlin nodded and smiled vaguely before turning back to stare out the window.

As soon as his back was turned, the smile slid off the other man's face. He squinted hard at Merlin, his head tilted slightly as if trying to bring something into focus. The bus roared to life beneath them, and they pulled away from the station. The man scrutinized Merlin for a few minutes more before seemingly deciding something.

He stood from his seat and plopped down on the seat next to him, launching straight into speech, "Look, I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I couldn't help noticing you are covered in timey wimey debris."

Merlin turned back to the strange man.

"I'm covered in what?" He asked, suddenly fully engaged in the conversation.

"You have an aura about you that suggests you are not in the time era you should be." The man squinted at him again, looking for something completely invisible to Merlin.

"Who are you?" He asked instead of replying. He was indeed out of his time, he would forever belong by Arthur's side, but how could this stranger know anything about that?

"I'm the Doctor." The man extended his hand in greeting. Merlin shook it hesitantly.

"The Doctor?" He asked, skeptical.

"Yep," The Doctor beamed.

"Well, Doctor, what exactly does this time debris look like?" He asked.

"Much like floating dirt," The Doctor replied, "It hovers around you like a cloud."

"How do you know what it is?" Merlin's head spun with questions.

"Because I have it too. See?" He offered his glasses to Merlin, who reluctantly put them on. Floating around the Doctor was a cloud of dust that had not been there a moment ago. Merlin glanced at a passenger a few seats in front of them. She was completely free of dust. As he slid the glasses off and handed them back, the cloud disappeared. The Doctor folded them up, tucking them away in an inside pocket.

"Why are you covered in...that?" Merlin asked.

"I am a time traveller." The Doctor stated simply. Merlin was tempted to laugh, but the man looked completely serious.

"You are a time traveller?" His skepticism couldn't be held back. The Doctor smiled his goofy smile at him again.

"I could show you. I could take you back where you belong." He sensed the loneliness in Merlin, he was lost and he needed his help, "I could take you anywhere."

Merlin felt his hopes rise against his will. He had no way of knowing if this man was a lunatic or not. He had no proof that what this man was saying was true. But he was desperate. Here in front of him was an opportunity to possibly go back and save Arthur from Mordred's final blade.

"Anywhere?" He asked quietly.

"Any time, any place." The Doctor confirmed, cheerfully.

"Take me with you. Please." Merlin pleaded.

"Of course." The Doctor stood and walked along the aisle on the still moving bus to the front. He exchanged a few words with the driver, and the bus pulled to the side of the road, screeching to a stop.

"Come along!" The Doctor yelled and Merlin jumped to his feet, following the man with the hope off the bus. They stood for a moment on the sidewalk. The Doctor seemed to be finding his bearings. Suddenly, without warning, he strode off into the park ahead of them. Merlin hurried to catch up.

"Where are we going?" He asked, matching the Doctor's long strides.

"To my TARDIS." He replied. Merlin didn't even bother asking what that was. They could be walking to China for all he cared, as long as it helped him save Arthur. They walked through the park in silence. With every step they took, Merlin woke more from his eternal slumber. By the time they stopped, his eyes glittered with the same energy he felt so long ago. He felt his long unused magic stir inside him, yearning to be utilized. They stood in front of a 1950s Police Call Box, the likes of which Merlin hadn't seen for years. The Doctor produced a small gold key from his pocket and inserting it into the door, unlocked the box.

Merlin watched the exchange in silence, he didn't ask any questions. He was starting to regret his decision to come along with the tall man with the special glasses. He was worried about getting in this small Police Call Box with this man he didn't know who could easily have a mental disorder. But, if anything went wrong, Merlin was absolutely sure he could handle it. His magic felt stronger than it had ever been since he left Camelot.

The Doctor pushed open the door and disappeared inside, Merlin close at his heels. The moment he stepped inside, however, he stopped dead. The room was huge. Much too large to be contained in the small box that he'd seen from outside. Merlin had watched the evolution of technological advancement, but he knew that this wasn't something that anyone today could have possibly made.

He became acutely aware that the Doctor was watching him expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something.

When he finally had power over his speech again he asked, "Is it magic?"

The Doctor smiled and replied, "No. It's bigger-on-the-inside technology from my home planet, Gallifrey."

Merlin looked at him, scrutinizing his appearance, "You don't look like an alien." He remarked.

"Who's to say what aliens look like?" The Doctor approached the circular console in the middle of the large room. It was covered in all manner of buttons and levers, none of which Merlin recognized, "Now, where are we going?"

Merlin went silent for a moment, thinking of the date, "The year 515." He answered quietly.

The Doctor's face lit up in excitement, "You lived in 515 A.D? That time is brilliant. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Although 515 would have been about the time King Arthur was killed. Did you know any knights by chance?"

Every word The Doctor said stabbed at Merlin's heart, "Yeah, I was a servant of King Arthur."

The Doctor's face grew somber as he studied Merlin's expression, realization dawning on him, "You're Merlin." He said quietly.

Merlin didn't reply, he just stared at the ground.

"515 was the year Arthur died." The Doctor continued, "You couldn't save him, could you?"

Merlin's eyes fell closed as the memory washed over him: He and Arthur stumbled through the forest, trying to make it to the lake. But he knew after a few small steps, that the journey would be too much for Arthur. They would never make it. They collapsed to the ground, he could hear Arthur's last words ringing through the years: _"Just hold me. Please..." _His heart broke when he heard those words. Arthur was giving up,_ "I want to say something that I've never said to you before..." _Merlin didn't want to hear it, but Arthur continued,_ "Thank you." _What did he have to thank him for? When it really counted, Merlin wasn't able to do the one thing he'd been charged with. He couldn't save him. Looking back he saw so many ways it could have changed.

The Doctor's hand on his shoulder jolted him out of the memory. He opened his eyes to see the Doctor's sad face just in front of his own.

"Merlin, Arthur's death is a fixed point in time." He stopped, as if he didn't want to say what was coming, "You can't save him."

Merlin's heart broke, "What do you mean? Of course I can save him, you have a time machine, just take me back. I can kill Mordred when he was a little kid. Or I can kill him before he comes back to Camelot. I could expose him to the court. I could call the Dragon earlier and get Arthur to Avalon quicker..." He continued to ramble, keeping his mind away from the truth.

"Merlin, stop." The Doctor cut across his words, "Too many events stem off of Arthur's death. If I were to stop his death, England as we know it would never exist. Arthur has to die."

The words stung at Merlin's heart. Once again, he stood at the crossroads of the life and death of Arthur Pendragon, and once again, he didn't have the power to save him.

"Can I..." Merlin stumbled over the lump in his throat, "Can I at least see him again?" He asked.

"You aren't supposed to cross your own..." The Doctor trailed off, when he saw the pain in Merlin's eyes. He had already suffered so much. He nodded and turned back to the console. Firing up the TARDIS, he punched in the date and place of their destination and the she wheezed to life.

Merlin sat down hard on one of the chairs around the console, unable to keep his feet under him in the rocking room. He was numb again, the brief life that he had felt earlier already gone from his face. After a few minutes, the rocking stopped with a violent jerk and the room filled with silence.

The Doctor approached Merlin, "You can't let them see you, or you'll create a paradox. There shouldn't be two of you here at the same time, but if you're only here for less than 15 minutes, we should be okay." Merlin nodded at the instructions, stood from his chair and walked to the door. Before opening it, he took a deep breath. He mustn't get his hopes up, in case there was nothing but the park they left outside the door.

But the second he opened the door, he knew he was in the right place. The forest was still familiar to him, even after all these years, he could walk it blindfolded. It was early morning, the sun had just risen, and the birds were just waking, calling back and forth to each other in the morning air. Merlin breathed the fresh air of dirt and trees, calling to mind hundreds of memories.

"Merlin!" His heart leapt. He knew that voice. It was the voice of a boy he thought he'd never see again. It took everything in him not to run to the voice of Arthur Pendragon as it yelled again, "Merlin you incompetent servant where have you disappeared to now?" All thoughts of the magical box behind him gone, Merlin moved silently through the trees, following the voice.

And then, he saw him. He was in his riding clothes, having slept in them that night. They must have been on an all night hunt, Merlin could see the horses and gear strewn about the camp, not yet packed to get ready for the long journey home. Merlin watched from the shadows of the trees as Arthur spotted his past self, sleeping leaned up against a horse.

"Merlin!" Arthur roared and Past Merlin jolted awake, bringing his hand up to wipe his face, "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping, sire." Past Merlin stated unflinchingly. Future Merlin knew what was coming, his head hurt in anticipation. Arthur lifted his arm up and gave Past Merlin a slap upside the head and then grappled him into a headlock.

Arthur's voice took on the sweet tone that came with his bitter sarcasm, and leaned down to speak to Past Merlin, "I can see that you dunce. Why are you not saddling the horses like I told you to twenty minutes ago?!"

Past Merlin had no response and so Arthur ruffled his hair with his knuckles, much harder than usual, before releasing him.

"Finish saddling the horses, and then pack up camp, we have a schedule to keep." Arthur strutted across the messy camp and plopped down on a fallen tree, pulling out his sword and sharpener.

Future Merlin watched in delight as Arthur sharpened his sword and his past self cleaned up camp. This was a scene he remembered so vividly from the past. Not this particular day, but the general sentiment. He had done this so many times. His heart ached to call out to Arthur, to embrace him one last time, but he knew his restrictions. So, with silent tears running down his face, he watched the scene from afar, reveling in the minutes he had. By the time the horses were saddled, and camp was cleaned, The Doctor stood behind Merlin. His hand on his shoulder.

"Your time's up, Merlin." He told him regretfully, "I wish it could have been longer."

Merlin slightly nodded and stood, careful to stay out of sight. He watched Arthur punch Past Merlin's arm before climbing up onto his horse. His back was to him, and for a moment, Merlin saw the man he knew Arthur would become. He watched his past self get up into the saddle beside Arthur, and they rode away into the trees and out of sight.

Merlin stood a few seconds more, wiping away the tears from his face. Finally, he turned away and followed the Doctor back to the TARDIS, out of his past.

They didn't speak as the Doctor flew the TARDIS away from the forests of Camelot. When silence fell over them again, Merlin turned to him,

"Thank you." he murmured quietly. He had a different energy about him now. He was still reserved, but the Doctor could feel life stirring in him again.

"You know, you could come with me." He said as nonchalantly as he could.

Merlin slowly lifted his head, but he didn't say anything for a moment.

"That is what I do," He continued, "I try to save people if I can. All around the universe in any time period. I help them, and I could use someone with your skills. So what do you say?"

The proposal hung in the air for a moment. Merlin was thinking hard, his face unreadable as he looked down at his feet.

After a few seconds, he lifted his head, and, for the first time since he had lost Arthur: Merlin smiled.


End file.
